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Does not start and/or engage in thoughtful communication.Doesn’t help with the kids or household chores.Makes lunch for him or herself without asking if you want any (on purpose).Tells you that depression is in your head and if you appreciated them like you should you wouldn’t be such a sad sack.Makes fun of your medications (happy pills, crazy pills, etc.).Acts like a $10 co-pay for your doctor visit is going to break the bank.Major medical issue comes up and the abuser unavailable to comfort you or just disappears.You’re hurt after a fight with him and say you should go to the emergency room…the abuser’s response is “Quit your whining and crying and leave”.Insults the gifts you give or acts disinterested.Your career interests are “fluffy” or not real jobs.The churches, restaurants, movies, etc.Uses crude names for a woman’s body parts and knows you do not like them.Knows the meaning and value that you tie with having sex, but breaks up with you right after sex saying s/he lied about his feelings to get you into bed.Tells you to go to a party alone and then insults you, withdraws, or sexually assaults you when you come home.Makes you feel “dirty” during or after sex with comments he or she knows you don’t like.Lies incessantly, even when faced with proof, about pornography viewing or cheating.Turns his or her back to you while laying in bed to show a withdrawal of affection.Yes, you do have a nice ass, but so did the girls ass that I checked out and the girls on the porn film.“Would you like to suck my cock one more time before you go?” (especially when you’re upset about his treatment of you).Makes you wear revealing clothing that makes you feel uncomfortable.Uses racial slurs because he knows you don’t like them.“I’m really concerned that your sister will influence you to be a bitch like she is.”.Uses threatening gestures toward your pets.“I hope your dog gets killed in the road right in front of you!”.
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“Your mother left your dad to chase cock and you’re going to do the same to me!”.“Why don’t you leave, have your geriatric dog leave too and I hope he falls dead.”.
NEIGHBOR TAKES ME TO DOCTORS OFFICE GAY NIFTY HOW TO
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“You know nothing about the real world!”.“You have no money without me you’d be lost.”.Uses tricks like abusive anger to get you to be quiet or listen.Denies saying what they said (even if you’re playing it back to him from a digital recorder, they may deny meaning what they obviously meant).Re-defines words to mean what he or she wants them to mean.Drones on for hours, repeating the same points, getting no where, until you’re so exhausted you want to agree just to get them to be quiet ( brainwashing).Changes the subject to divert your attention.Challenges you to remember “exact words” but you can’t (or tells you you’re wrong) because the conversation is so confusing you don’t know exactly what he’s talking about anymore.Repeats “your exact words” but takes them out of context or makes up something that you did not say or mean.Tells you what your intentions are, what you intend to do, what you really meant when you said/did something.“Stop crying – we both know you’re faking it to get your way!”.“You’ve got your priorities screwed up.”.“Yes, why don’t you stuff your feelings inside.”.Breaks up often then comes running back, begging forgiveness.Consistently puts their desires and schedule above yours.Often leaves you hanging when they promised to do something with you.Says “I don’t care about your feelings.”.“Why don’t you fucking leave?” or “Get the fuck out of my house.”.On the flip side, he or she may refuse to say your name at all to deny your existence.Says “woman” or “man” in a sarcastic tone or demeaning tone.Idiot, Stupid Cunt, Go sit in the corner where you belong (dunce).Contribute your comments and take a look at everyone else’s comments too. The following statements and actions are common things abusers say and do. In your weakened state, your abuser finds it much easier to gain power over you. Whether abusers say and do these things knowingly or unconsciously, the result is the same: you feel lower than dirt, afraid and intimidated. The things abusers say and do are designed to control you. Safety planning can help protect you against things abusers say and do ( Hurtful Words Don’t Define You). Your best ammunition against the things abusers say and do is knowing the answer to What Is Verbal Abuse? If you can say to yourself, “Hey! That’s abuse!” then you’ll more easily detach from the abuse emotionally and find a psychological or physical safe place. The things abusers say and do put you on the defensive, make you feel crazy, and to wonder if you are the abuser in the relationship.